Is Technology Killing Human Touch? Resulting in Depression!

A lot of stuff has been said and written about Depression since the death of Arjun Bhardwaj. A 24 year old student who committed suicide on 3rd April jumping from 19th floor Taj Lands End Hotel in Bandra. What is more daunting is that, he went live on facebook minutes before committing suicide. In the video, he explained 'how to commit suicide' and posted it on Facebook. He then broke the window of his hotel room and jumped. Report says he was depressed. 

Almost everyday youngsters commit suicide. What's exception in this case? It's the fact that Arjun smoked, drank and gave a suicide tutorial online- actions that amazed people far more than the suicide itself. It's the fact that 'WE' the generation of 21st century have become so advanced that we can live chat with a person from miles away but we've failed to reach out to a person who is just beside us.

 In Facebook, Instagram world where everything is just so outward; where the happiness of a youngster is directly related to the number of likes on their Facebook dp.. we're good at putting filters, we're good at clicking pictures of our food and posting it on social media, we're good at showing people that life is Amazing- even though You're Depressed! Depression!! A state of low mood which makes a person feel sad, hopeless, helpless and worthless. Everyone fails or feels horrible at some point in their life. 

Arjun Bhardwaj, I don't know what made you take such a drastic step. Was it because you failed in your exam? or because you had been depressed? Whatever the reason might be.. all I know is, 'Suicide' was Not an option!!

Images from his video tutorial.

• Didn't you for a moment thought of all the countless success stories where people rose high in their lives despite all the failures and hardships?!
• Didn't you thought about the influence your video might have on young minds while live streaming it?!
• Didn't you for a minute thought about your parents?!
• If only you had communicated with your parents or friends, they would have told you how much you mattered for them.
•  If only you would have understood life better, you would have know that nothing remains the same. A year from now your life would have taken a completely different turn. 
• If only....

Lately I've watched a video on MTV on Millennial where they have interpreted our generation so precisely. This is what was said..

Engagement with social media and our cell phones releases a chemical called Dopamine. That's why when you get a text you feel good. It's why we count on likes because we know when you get it, you get a hit of dopamine which feels good. Dopamine is the EXACT same chemical that makes you feel good when we smoke, when we drink. In other words it's highly, highly addictive. When significant stress starts to show up in our lives, we're not turning to a person, we're turning to a device. 

 This is exactly where we're going wrong. When you feel lonely, rather than sharing you feelings with people you are close to, you switch to your cell phones scrolling through all the unnecessary sites.. making yourself feel more isolated. 

Can a depressed person feel low to the extent that he or she is ready to give up on life? May be. May be not! But yes, all a depressed person need, is to talk to someone, to let his distorting thoughts come out of his mind and someone to say him/her.. 'I'm there with you my friend, you're not alone!'

Some things which I would like to remind people of this generation and to the one who thinks that they're 'Depressed.'

• Don't be hard on yourself. We all fail in life.
• Keeping those disturbing thoughts within yourself can kill you from inside. Don't suffer in silence. Know that there's always going to be someone to help you out.
• Technology have certainly made our life easier. Everything we want we can have instantly. Except Strength of Relationship and that bond, that personal communication. There is no app for that. There can never be.
• Death is any easy way for people. Fighting is the solution.
• Spend more time with your family or friends. Build a support system so strong, that you will never feel lonely.
• Remember that no issue, however serious it might be.. has a dead end. Every cloud has a silver lining.
• Every life is precious. Ask the one who has lost their loved ones.
• Don't be another Arjun Bhardwaj.

Peace! 

If You Worry A Lot, You Need to Read This.

'Worry.' I can write a whole book on this topic with all the science and psychology behind our worries. But I'll try to make this article short and to the point. Because, yeah..my readers have a lot of things to worry about. 

I think the most common and destructive habits of the people living in this world must be the habit of worrying. We keep hearing from people that 90% of what we worry about never actually happen. Despite this truth we tend to remain the same. I think it's difficult to control our thoughts, specially when it comes from the negative side. We spend most of our time thinking about the negative outcomes rather than the positive ones.

Think about this for a moment- You wake up every morning, take your bath, have your breakfast and then proceed for your job or college or class or whatever it might be. On your way to your destination there are some days when it's too hot, days when it's raining heavily and days when it's too cold. How do you respond during such times? Do you just carry on with your stuff or do you go on worrying and stressing about the climatic conditions every single day? For most of us the answer is definitely the former one. Because we know there is NOTHING we can do to change the atmosphere as it's natural. All we can do is to simply adapt and protect ourselves from the earth's nature.

This is Exactly the same with our worries. There are things which cannot be controlled and changed. Worrying and cribbing won't change anything. It will only stop you from enjoying the present. 

What Percent of your Worries Come True??

99% of the things you think will happen, never happen! There are things, I would rather say plenty of things I predicted never came true, both good and bad. I was very sure that I would be a Psychologist one day, which certainly never turned into reality. Similarly, I never imagined myself to be a teacher and a blogger .But here I am, writing articles and trying to inspire people across the globe. 

When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which never happened. - Winston Churchill.

When you're confronted with any problematic situations in your life simply ask yourself these two questions:

1. Would worrying help?? The only answer one can make, I think, is NO. So what's the point distressing!?
2. Is there anything that you can do to change the situation?? If you get a yes as an answer and if a problem is fixable then there is no need to worry. If it's no, then there is no benefit in worrying whatsoever.

You see, in both the cases there is no place for 'worry.'

Why we Worry??

We worry out of the fear of Future. Most of our worries steam from questioning the unknown-- what if??

• What if he/she rejected me?
• What if I lose my job? How am I going to pay my bills?
• What if I cannot come up to my parents or society's expectations?
• What if I die tomorrow?

We start visualizing it's consequences :

• Am probably gonna die single if he/she rejected me. 
• I would starve if I lose my job. . . producing results which are quite disturbing and frustrating. It all started with just one imaginary thought and ended up deteriorating your health and your peace of mind. 

However, in some cases worry is good for you. For example- If you don't worry about being hit by a car while driving, you might not drive safely with all your attention on driving. If you don't worry about being sick, you might not take care of your health. That being said doesn't mean that you should worry and keep worrying. Try to understand the difference between Concern and Worry. Concern encourages you to take action; whereas Worry is of no good. Some concerns are real, but many are unnecessary.

We suffer more often in imagination than in reality- Seneca

It's certainly easy to sit and write an article conveying people to stop stressing about your career, your future, your bank balance, your family or whatever you're stressing about right now. But difficult to get rid of this destructive habit. You may read this article, feel motivated and may take a vow to never worry ever. Be honest, how long do your motivation make you forget about your worries? 5 minutes, one hour, a day or a week? As soon as you get back to the reality of your life- worry and stress bang you in the face. With the competitive world out there, struggling to finish your deadline. . it's hard not to worry. 

But friends, Worry is no joke. The more you worry and stress about, the more your body suffers.

• High blood pressure
•  Anxiety
• Panic attacks
• Sleep problems
• Cardio-Vascular problems
• Headaches or Migraines are the numerous health problems caused by Stress. You read that right. Worry certainly is the reason behind many of our health issues. You can refer to Stress related health problems.

But Worry Not!  Here are some ways to deal with worrying. You can also watch Ted Talks videos. These videos are bound to help you to get away from your worries. And whenever you start with your worry habit, just slow down your thoughts. Remember that health is always more important than anything else in this entire world. 

Now go. . . Explore, follow your passion, hang out with your friends, eat, drink, sleep. Do whatever you want to, BUT- Without Any Worry! 

The Other Side of Failure.

How exactly would you go on defining failure?
What if I say you, there is no such thing as 'Failure!'
Putting it in simple words..

There was a time,
when you performed badly on your school exams.
Sitting at one corner..
moaning over it later.
That was only your lack of effort dear
And you called it Failure...

There was a time,
you couldn't balance that bicycle
failed miserably and got injured.
That was only your way towards practice
And you called it Failure...

There was a time,
when people whom you loved and cared for,
cheated on you and broke your heart.
That was your pure, innocent soul..
with the ability to see good in every other soul.
And you called it Failure...

There was a time,
when you were unable to perform
well in your new job.
That was only your way to preparation and proficiency.
And you called it Failure...

Failure can be more accurately termed as 'setbacks.' People criticising you, being rejected for a job interview, imbalance in relationships..none of these things are really failures, as long as you pick yourself up and keep going.
When the time comes to experience as you call it 'failure' just welcome it as an opportunity to learn, grow and bounce back.

Give up on everyone and everything if you want to. But don't give up on yourself..because the moment you give up on yourself you FAIL!!! As Gena Showalter quote it "Giving up is the only sure way to fail."

Fail. Fail often. 
Keep failing and Keep learning.

Demonetisation: Boon or Breakdown for the Economy??

Let's skip the usual introduction part. We all are very well aware about Prime Minister Narendra Modi's demonetization of notes to combat corruption and terrorism. While this decision is appreciated by most Indian citizens, effect however, appears to be mixed.

-Firstly, we need to understand that Black Money, by its very nature, is hard to estimate accurately; therefore the gain from demonetization is also difficult to quantify. 

-We also need to understand that black money is not just in the form of hard cash. If someone has black money, they are likely to keep it either in the form of property, gold and jewelry, foreign currency or any other possessions or they have pushed it out of the border through the 'hawala' route.

Well, talking about the good part of demonetisation -

• Demonetisation has become a party pooper in Delhi-NCR as cash-based alcohol sales in bars, pubs and ‘ahatas’ have been going down since the announcement.

• Definitely a hit towards Fake Currency, the same cannot be said about Black Money. 

• Death of drug mafia and terror networks.

• This decision will help institutionalize the Real Estate Sector bringing more transparency in the Indian real estate industry.

• Demonetisation has come down hard on dowry seekers. According to a report a groom’s family in Bihar sought Rs 20 lakh dowry from bride’s parents. Now, demonetisation drive has dissolved bridegroom's family demand.

For the ones who can see only the brighter side of demonetization, here I go :

• Bankers are being overburdened with the exchange process and handling the restless queues.

• Weddings are being cancelled and are getting postponed as bills to wedding halls, florists and caterers are typically paid in cash across India.

• During announcement of demonetisation PM Modi said that, for few hours Rs 500 and Rs 1,000 notes will be acceptable by petrol pumps, hospitals, medical stores and for paying bills. While there have been reports of doctors denying treatment because patients had only 500 and 1000 rupee notes with them.

• People abandon their work to exchange money.

• Very difficult for more than half the population who are not well versed with the card transactions.

• In rural areas, where 833 million Indians or 69% of the population lives, the journeys will be long and arduous. We are possibly seeing the greatest churning of the subcontinent’s population since the Partition of 1947.

• And most importantly, people have DIED. Died waiting in ques, died in hospitals who didn't took old currency, died working in banks. 

How can you justify DEATH because of a poorly executed policy in the name of greater good?? 50 deaths have been reported due to demonetisation ( excluding all the fake dead news). Yet, this is only a 'little inconvenience' so we ought not unzip our mouths and criticize.. as we get branded as anti-nationals. 

Shortage of change issue. 

The new 2,000 rupee banknote is like a mighty, impractical sword when all one needs is a knife. Armed with this forbidding violet bill, Mumbaikars can scarcely buy food or medicines since few retailers can provide change.

"My daily requirement is a loaf of bread which comes for Rs 22, a litre of milk for Rs 50, vegetables worth Rs 50 and maybe Rs 40 for transportation. My weekly requirement of medicines is worth Rs 150. Each item is available at a different outlet. Which vendor will give change for Rs 2,000? This new note is of use only to those who hoard black money. For the middle class it is a showpiece that has no utility," said Anita Sitlani, a resident of Bandra.

The delayed arrival of Rs 500 notes and shortage of Rs 100 notes has hit all segments from homemakers to daily wagers, blue collar workers, middle class and the elite. Uday Singh, a security guard at Lokhandwala Complex, wondered what his family back home in Badaun, UP, will do with his monthly despatch this time. "There is no method of exchanging such big banknotes there yet. If in Mumbai I find it difficult how will villagers manage?"  (Source : The Times of India)

Do read an article published in Wire  by Rashmi Venkatesan here, if your views on demonetisation are still unclear.

Here are some questions which needs to be addressed :

   1. If people across India are facing problems due to a decision taken by government of India, which even lead to deaths, then who should be blamed and should be responsible for that?

   2. If government believes that black money is held predominantly in the form of notes of large denomination (500,1,000),why introduce a new note of a higher denomination (Rs 2,000)?

   3. There are still millions of people who are living in rural areas, who are not having access to bank facility. How is Govt going to handle such situations?

   4. If black money was aim of demonetisation, does Rs 2,000 note defeat the purpose?

The government recognises this is a problem but it is attempting to paper it over by invoking the spirit of voluntarism and sacrifice. We are told that a measure of “inconvenience” is necessary for the nation; temporary pain is “for larger gain”, as parliamentary affairs minister Venkaiah Naidu put it.

 Whatever the aims of the scheme, it is clear its impacts will be massive and hard to predict. No one is against curbing black money BUT if we literally had only this option of sudden announcement to grab those with black money then there should be proper arrangements and sufficient currency flow. Unless cash supply is set right quickly, the distress could deepen. It will take years to fully understand the effects of this shock to the economy, which politicians have insisted is just a "temporary inconvenience"


This video below will surely raise questions in the minds of demonetisation supporters. 

Well, I leave it up to you to decide whether it's a boon or breakdown for our economy?

 Take care peeps.!                                                                                                           

India Against Terrorism.

Letter from your younger self (to you)

Children find everything in nothing; men find nothing in everything. -Giacomo Leopardi.

This line says it all. You may have all the luxuries in the world but you're still an 'Unsatisfied' creature. Without a shadow of doubt yes, one should never be satisfied enough- NOT in terms of wealth, greed or appearance BUT in terms of graciousness, benevolent, compassion and that intent desire in your heart to do something worthy. You know where you'll find all these qualities? My dear..it's been there right within you. It always was, but seems in days like today it all vanished somewhere.    
          

Recall your childhood and ask yourself, what do you used to do when you didn't liked someone during those days? Yes, tell me. Can't even remember, right! You know the reason-it's because you never really hated people on the first place. That was the time of your life when everyone and everything seemed so nice to you, because of your pure soul. Now where is your innocence? Where did you left me? This world have become a bitter place. Can't you see the whole world out there holding hatred and grudges for each other. You people have become vicious being. Why do you do this? Don't let this happen my elder self. Make this world a better place to live. Many of you fall onto this category and the one who don't..you make this world a finer place. Be glad that you are not that low in life that you have to make fun of others and degrade them just to feel something.

Recall your childhood when those sweet-sour chocolates and those little toys made your day. You asked for nothing else!! Since when did you become greedy? Since when did your thirst for money and other materialistic things grew and grew and grew?? You where made to love, care and help other human being. Then why is that to fulfill your stomach and your greed you steal someone else's money? Let me tell you one thing..by doing this, you're showing how pathetic and how miserable you are!! You kidnap, you murder, you spoil other's life and you do all those insane things. I ask you FOR WHAT? Don't forget that at the end of the day when it's all said and done and you're lying on your bed tired and worn out, you will crave for nothing but peace of mind. And if you don't have it then it's not worth it.

Recall your childhood when your friend used to buy a new pencil,a new tiffin box. What do you used to do? Ahh..you used to celebrate their happiness by being more ecstatic than your friend itself. What happened now? Instead of being joyful and captivated why is that, that you feel jealous! Yes, you definitely show your happiness towards your friend in front of everyone WITH feeling of envious inside. Know that being happy in someone else happiness is a sign of pure soul and only by gratitude you can attract bliss.

Recall your childhood when there was not a word of 'EGO' in your dictionary. Yes, you used to fight, scold and quarrel with each other. How long that used to last? Ahh..not even for a minute. Now look at yourself, peep within you and you'll realize what have you become. Ego between two people and a whole loving, caring relationship is lost forever. You don't even bother to at least make a start. How much time does it takes to type a two letter word Hi. Yes, why should you say first? Pity you people and your thinking. Something within me die everyday to see what kind of world you're living in. Not to forget, this is the result of your own doing. Today do one favor on yourself- just for a minute keep your self-pride aside and go and initiate with the one you haven't interacted for a while and I promise you, you'll see the change yourself because of this one step, You certainly will!

Recall all those precious tender age years and you'll realize what have you actually lost. Where is your pure innocent soul, your kind heartedness, your joyful nature and your bindass attitude. Oh yes, you are now a grown up human being. But is this reason enough for you to leave behind your childhood. Be a child again my friend. Keep away your ego aside. Set your priorities straight by not giving too much importance to money. Only then you'll know how beautiful it is to be like a grown up child. Life is so, so short, don't you see? You've all been through enough. Be kind to yourself, to others. Once again start believing in miracles, believe in yourself and have faith and you'll see your dreams taking shape into reality. To sum up here are some of the most beautiful lines I've came across..

Jeb me ek Rupiye ka sikka 

Mujhe badshahat ka maza deta tha..

Aaj hazaron ki daulat bhi

Mujhe wo sukun na de payi..

Juth bolte the phir bhi kitne sacche the hum,

Ye unn dino ki baat hai jab bacche the hum. :)

6 Things People Should STOP Doing on Social Media.

Suppose you wake up one morning and come across the news that social media has been banned and you no longer have access to any of your social sites..be it a facebook, twitter, linkedin or any other. Well, you'll suddenly feel a sense of apprehension, endless thoughts & questions will occupy your mind as to how you'll be able to connect with your friends, how you'll brag about all your stuff and many more. Coming to the point, if this is how much priority you give to your online platforms, then you need to know about social media etiquette, you need to ponder that with millions of people out there having access to social media accounts..your lame posts, your senseless stuff can annoy others and can get into their nerves. The list is long, but here are 6 things one should simply stop doing on social media.


1.Tagging Hundreds Of People In Your Picture:

Why on earth do some people do this? Yeah, probably for likes?! for letting others know that you've changed your profile picture?! or for any other sluggish reason. Tagging those particular people in those particular photo is one thing, but tagging hundreds of others in your SOLO pic is something entirely different! Doing this makes you look dumb..and I hope no one wants to sound dumb on social media. You know what, the one who wants to like your photo will like it anyway, whether you tag them or not! So grow up my dear friend and stop tagging people unnecessarily.

2.Comparing Yourself To Others:

This is something one needs to take care of, because comparing yourself is the worst thing people can do. Yes, with thousands of people out there who flaunt about their looks, their attire, their jobs, their relationships.. it is difficult for one not to fall into the trap of inferiority complex. But hey, where will this lead you? Understand that not every post on social media need your response. You don't have to consider yourself inferior, low or feel jealous by seeing someone else post whom you don't even know! Remember that most of the stuff on social media is a big fat lie. People selectively self-represent online. They aren't sharing their real lives- they are sharing the life they want to project. So next time you go on comparing yourself and your life with others on social media, be aware of the fact that it will only deteriorate you. 

3.Judging:

I've seen people who judge someone on social media merely on the basis of number of likes they get on their pictures. More likes-more prominent, Less likes-less prominent. Oh Really?! How far is this logic accurate? The thing is - you simply can't judge others..not in real life, not on social media, not in any goddamn thing. And if you do so, then be ready and don't be surprised when others do the same!  

4.Posting Every Small Details of Your Life:

There's no denying to the fact that making people aware about the happenings in your life is one among many reasons why social media was created. But not every detail of your life needs an attention. These days people on social media are like..Eating breakfast with so & so person, feeling tired, listening to so & so music, various check-ins and what not. LOL. Are such posts really worth posting? To be honest, people don't even care what's going on in your life..they really DON'T!! regardless of few. They barely have time for themselves and their family, then how could you imagine that they'll be interested in your daily stuff. Post and share things which are worth reading. Post about your life events, about your life achievements, life lessons, share some motivational and inspiring thoughts, post about any of the places you've recently visited. These are the stuff people look out for & not any of those nonsense.

5.Posting Negative Comments & Making Fun of Others: 

You will come across plenty of stuff where people post abrupt comments about any person or any religion. They'll make fun of actor and actresses about the way they dress, the way some of them act in public and the way they live their life. Once you get small piece of news, you're in a hurry to post it! Just take a breathe and think for a moment..will your updates affect anyone's identity or culture? Will it end up offending someone? Dude, Grow up!! No one has ever made himself great by showing how small someone else is. And posting negative remarks especially on social media is definitely not a good idea. 

6.Pretending:

We are our worst enemies because of the way we manipulate ourselves on social media. With numerous filter tools we can now make ourselves look absolutely nothing like ourselves, we wear the best clothes and take selfies, people pretend like they have the best husband, better half..while in real life they probably they don't even have time for each other, people fake about their coolness, their relationships, their appearance, their perfect life..the list is endless. Why can't you be the Real You?? How long could you pretend about these things!! Maybe it's time you throw a little reality back into social media.

Friends, use social media the right way. If you're doing any of the things I listed above then it's time you think about it and if you aren't doing anything from the above list, you're already on the right track in the eyes of your Facebook audience. Don't let yourselves become a social media geek.